@Livestock Posts Open Letter To Kickstarter Backers (Satire)

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On Something Awful, comedian Josh “Livestock” Boruff (@Livestock) posted a satirical open letter to his Kickstarter backers mocking those ubiquitous “final backer updates” in the rewards-based crowdfunding world, the kind that often contain deep personal introspection and tales of personal strife.

It seems that – unfortunately – Boruff lost all of his backers’ money playing carnival games. An excerpt…

Unfortunately, there’s been one small setback: the project is now canceled. Long story short, I lost all the money in a rigged carnival game. All $76,452 of it. Before you get mad, please re-read this paragraph, specifically the part that says “rigged carnival game.” Had it been an honest carnival game, I wouldn’t have lost as much.

I know I promised you guys the moon and got everyone excited, but rest assured nobody is taking this betrayal harder than me. I keep replaying that carnival game in my head, wondering if I could have done things differently. And you know what? The game was definitely rigged, so even if I tried a better strategy, was sober, or I was the world’s best ring tosser, it still wouldn’t have mattered. The fix was in.

Some of you will want to point fingers or demand a refund, but let’s face it: the money is gone. Maybe you expected me to be more dishonest, and out-cheat the carny. I’m insulted you would even expect me to defraud any institution, let alone a carnival. That’s not what this Kickstarter was about, and certainly goes against the spirit of what we set out to accomplish. If that’s what you expect from the Kickstarter projects you fund, you need to reevaluate your choices.

Read the whole letter at Something Awful

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